The New Year’s Meal We Need In 2021

The New Year’s Day Meal:

• Pork

• Collards

• Corn bread

• Black eyed peas

• Health

• Prosperity 

• Good luck

Y’all.
We need that food this New Year more than we ever have before, am I right? I mean, we need one huge serving, (and seconds) of all of that as we move into 2021. This year has been too. Much.

So the other day when I started to plan our meal for tonight, I started thinking about all the health, wealth, and good luck that we need right this minute…  but then I really started thinking about how we don’t actually need any of that at all, do we?

Friends, the food we need in 2021 isn’t material or temporal food... the food we need in 2021 is spiritual food!
We need the Bread of Life!
We need Jesus!

That’s it! So simple, but so profoundly more important than anything that health, prosperity, and luck could ever bring our way.
We. Need. Jesus.

So we’re doing something different this year.

We have decided to sit at the dinner table tonight and talk about what we really and truly need in 2021 - what will bring our hearts true healing, peace, and contentment.

And it’s not about money and luck… it’s not even about our health or our personal safety.

We are going to sit and eat and talk about the many ways we can taste and see that our God is GOOD… the ways He has been good throughout 2020 and the ways He will continue to be who He is in 2021. How we can find true safety and refuge in Him, and Him alone, in the uncertainty of the days and months to come.

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Psalm 34:8

We’re going to center our New Year’s meal on several truths we know about God - how He gives good gifts to His children, how He roots us in His promises and builds us up as we walk in Him, how He cleanses us from our brokenness, and sanctifies us, making us like Him.

If you’re interested in joining us, here’s what our dinner table will look like tonight, and some scripture we’ll read, along with some questions and thoughts to talk about around the table.

ENTREE - Salmon, shrimp pasta, and rolls

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!
Matthew 7:7-11

This scripture encourages us to ask our Father for good gifts. We’ll encourage each other to do just that in 2021. He loves to give good gifts to His children… going around the table, we’ll ask: What are the good gifts you will ask of God in 2021?

But we won’t stop there, because this passage isn’t about the earthly gifts and blessings we wish for and hope to receive - the things our hearts are prone to request, the things that will satisfy our temporal and material desires… we’ll spend some time talking about the good gifts God promises to those whose trust is in Him: peace, contentment, joy, hope, salvation, and all the many gifts that come along with His good and perfect will.

SIDE - roasted root vegetables (parsnips, radishes, turnips, sweet potatoes, and red onion)

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.
Colossians 2:6-7

I did some research on root vegetables after deciding on this for our side. Come to find out, they are nutrient dense, absorbing all the minerals and nutrients from the soil where they grow, AND they are excellent for your heart!

With all of that information on our plates, we’ll encourage each other to root ourselves in HIM and in His word in 2021! We’ll talk about how His word is dense in nutrients for our soul, and excellent for our heart health, and how rooting ourselves in Him will build us up, grow us deeper, establishing a strong faith in Him and His promises.

BEVERAGE - fruit punch

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23

What better way to quench our thirst and compliment this meal than with the simple sweetness of fruit punch?

As we taste the various fruit flavors in our cups, we’ll encourage each other to pray that God would sanctify us, making us more like Him each day of 2021 - that He would increase the fruit of the Spirit in our hearts, our heads, and our lives, and that others would notice the fruit that we bear, and desire it in their own lives.

DESSERT - Cheesecake

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 
Psalm 51:7

Ending this meal in gratitude, we’ll talk about the complicated task of attempting to make cheesecake FROM SCRATCH. When we cut into it, we’ll (hopefully) find a white center, giving us the opportunity to talk about the incredibly difficult, painful torment Jesus experienced in order to create us anew, washing us white as snow. What a gift of grace! As we close out our New Years dinner, we’ll remind each other to live in gratitude in 2021 for the great sacrifice Jesus made on our behalf.

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For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5:6-11

Ready for a little vulnerability?

The following is a post I originally wrote for our CaringBridge page after our daughter, Mercy, was born ten weeks early. I wrote this the night we had to leave the hospital without our daughter. It was the first time I was able to sit and put words together. I remember so vividly sitting on our bed, computer and Kleenex in my lap, and crying like I had never cried before. Looking back still brings tears to my eyes. God was so gracious to give us unexplainable peace in those days and weeks.

Over the next several weeks I’ll be sharing posts from our CaringBridge, as November is National Prematurity Awareness Month.

I hope that through this you will be reminded, as we are daily, that even the greatest challenges are gifts and opportunities to grow in His grace and mercy, friends!

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January 22, 2013

“…that He gave His one and only Son..." John 3:16

Tonight I was wheeled out of the hospital and helped into a car full of beautiful flowers, gifts, and my wonderful husband... Something was missing. Somebody was missing. The car was empty without our baby girl coming home with us.

If I had to put the last 4 days into a few words, they would range all the way from 'beautiful' and 'amazing' to 'terrifying' and 'heart-wrenching.' My realm of emotions has never been so... everywhere!

Little Mercy, God's awesome gift of mercy to our family, has enriched my life in enormous ways in just four days. She is the most beautiful, wonderful little bundle of greatness I have ever experienced in my life. I love her more than words can express. Feeling her little white-knuckle grasp around my finger is... incredible. Little Mercy... She always has one hand raised high over her head, we're calling it her "Praise the Lord Arm!" I loved her in my womb... She was real, and alive and active from the very beginning... but I had no idea my heart was even capable of loving this deeply. She is perfect, fearfully and wonderfully made. God has given us an awesome gift, and I could not be more grateful.

But still, in the evenings... I weep for her. Many times at her side, I weep as I look at her sweet face and rub her tiny arms. I wish I could explain how ordained Mercy's early arrival this past weekend was. How God put each little detail in perfect order for us to meet our sweet girl ten weeks early. I wish I could explain so you could understand how nuts it is that I'm afraid and lacking trust in who He is and in the promises He makes. As I wept in Chris's arms two nights ago, one question continued to resound in my head. I knew it was from Mercy's Creator... "Would you withhold your child from Me?"

That is a question I have not been able to answer. It's a question I don't know how to answer. I know that He didn't withhold His only Child from me... But when I see that little girl with tubes in and out of her helping her stay alive, I just can't bring myself to answer that question. So while I celebrate each victory, I continue to grieve the unknown...

I've never felt so scared of anything. I believe in the deepest parts of my heart that He's not going to take her from us. I know that He could, because she belongs to Him anyways, and if He does, I will be ever grateful for the time He gave us with her. But am I willing right now to put her in His hands and let go of my need for her to be healthy and sleeping in her mermaid bedroom down the hall? I don't know... 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

That's what God gave me. His only Son so that I might have eternal life... because He loves me. 

...and that's where my heart sits tonight, 20 minutes from my sweet Mercy girl, fighting these tears that will inevitably begin to fall any minute, not even really knowing how or what to pray for her, but knowing I love her more than anything.

Tomorrow we'll get to see another x-ray of her lungs and hopefully get some information on when the ventilator may come back out. We will continue to share each of these moments and milestones with you and thank you so much for keeping up with our girl.

I want you each to know how much your prayers are carrying me through this. Reading through the guestbook entries has been a ray of light through a dark and unknown path. My heart feels so loved and so full. Please continue to lift our Mercy up, physically, spiritually. Please continue to lift her daddy and I up as we navigate this journey. Chris has been such a gift since Friday, keeping me on track when I continually forget to look to Christ to light the way and give us direction. Pray for him, as he has been granted the task of continually lifting me out of my lack of trust. Pray for me as I continue to heal, physically and emotionally. We will continue to thank our God each time we remember you! We will continue to pray with joy for you all as we read through your kind words and prayers.

Thank you doesn't begin to express our gratitude.

We (all three of us!) love you all!

vascular anomalies and living in the uncomfortable unknown

Here are some words for you to think about today:

cutis marmorata telangiectatica congenita (CMTC) - hemangioma - klippel trenauney weber syndrome (KTS/KTWS) - limb discrepancy - atrophic/hypertrophic - hypoplasia - femoral vein - capillary staining - venous congestion - vascular anomaly and vascular malformation

Lots of words, y’all...

Words that are being tossed around trying to figure out why my seven month old daughter’s left leg turns purple and is quite a bit smaller than her right leg.

Words that I had NEVER heard until her cuteness came into my life.

Words that throw me into more confusion than I can deal with some days, but just enough confusion to remind me that I am not in control here.

Words that I’m repeating over and over as headings in this post so that somebody else who is hearing these words and searching Google won’t feel so alone, like I felt when experts and doctors looked at us and said, “I’ve never seen this before.”

Speaking of that… here they are again!

cutis marmorata telangiectatica congenita (CMTC) - hemangioma - klippel trenauney weber syndrome (KTS/KTWS) - limb discrepancy - atrophic/hypertrophic - hypoplasia - femoral vein - capillary staining - venous congestion - vascular anomaly and vascular malformation

My daughter’s left leg was purple when she was born. The discoloring stretches up her back a bit and around the left side of her torso, down her leg and covers her foot. Her left leg is both skinnier and shorter than her right leg. In the NICU we were told it looks like a port wine stain. The pediatric dermatologist quickly ruled that out when he noticed it blanches when pressed against. Port wine stains are associated with Klippel Trenauney Syndrome, which is now being talked about with both our dermatologist and our orthopedist. For several months she was diagnosed with CMTC, until our second visit with the vascular anomalies clinic at Children’s Hospital in New Orleans, where she had a CT scan with contrast and an ultrasound of each leg. Her diagnosis was then changed to hypoplasia of the femoral vein in both legs, much more severe in her left leg. What I understand this to mean is the main vein running up her leg is underdeveloped and much too narrow about a third of the way down her leg, this means the blood has to reroute through superficial veins back up the leg, causing the leg to turn purple. Makes sense, right? Where it gets tricky is this diagnosis should cause her left leg to be bigger... but it’s smaller.

So there’s that……..

Again for the google searchers:

cutis marmorata telangiectatica congenita (CMTC) - hemangioma - klippel trenauney weber syndrome (KTS/KTWS) - limb discrepancy - atrophic/hypertrophic - hypoplasia - femoral vein - capillary staining - venous congestion - vascular anomaly and vascular malformation

We have a pediatric dermatologist, orthopedist, and vascular surgeon who we are following up with regularly... they are experts - the best of the best in the state and we love and appreciate them all.

But the thing is... those words up there confuse me… a lot. They get all mangled in my head, and I get lost in them. And then Google just creeps right up on me and I just can’t deal with Google sometimes... because Google is not a doctor, but I like to think that it is and IT DESTROYS ME.

I’ve got to stop googling.

It’s not helpful.

The actual real life doctors all agree - we’re watching and waiting and following up at our scheduled appointments and if anything changes we’re making phone calls…. and thankfully she doesn’t seems to be in pain, she’s meeting all of her milestones, and nobody is terribly concerned about her growth and development in general.

And even more importantly, I’ve got to open my eyes and look at this little bundle I’ve got in front of me: Edith Joy.

Her name means “Victorious in the battle for JOY.”

And it couldn’t be more fit for her - she is so filled with joy... and her joy fills me with joy! Her joy reminds me that Jesus formed her, named her, and filled her with smiles… and that long before she was being built inside of me, these vascular anomalies were known - they serve a purpose - they are part of her story - part of her uniqueness - they set her apart - they make her, her!

So while I’m confused by all these big words, and while sometimes sitting in that confusion feels very uncomfortable, scary, and even angering, I know that I’m confident in the purpose of her story and her journey being a good one... because the Author of her story is good. So good. Always good.

And comfortable or not, I know that I can rest in that promise.

When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt and the people noticed the Egyptians pursuing them, they became scared, confused, uncomfortable, angry. They didn’t believe in God’s goodness to carry them through what was happening. They started whining and crying out at Moses and God.

And sometimes that’s where I find myself living in this uncomfortable unknown… scared, confused, angry.

Friend, whatever your personal trial, if you find yourself in that place as well, will you memorize these next verses with me? Write them on your heart and repeat them daily. Let this promise be your confidence as you walk through your own uncomfortable unknowns.

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Exodus 14:13-14

And one more time for fun… also, can somebody tell me if this is even how this works? 😂 #keywords #googlesearch #iliterallydontknowwhatimdoing

cutis marmorata telangiectatica congenita (CMTC) - hemangioma - klippel trenauney weber syndrome (KTS/KTWS) - limb discrepancy - atrophic/hypertrophic - hypoplasia - femoral vein - capillary staining - venous congestion - vascular anomaly and vascular malformation

When you’re failing at this mom thing

Mercy made my name tag at a church event last week. I wore it proudly, but to be honest, my heart was a little heavy beneath where that tag sat on my chest. It hadn’t been my best day... or week. I lost my patience and my temper a lot. I missed opportunities to show kindness and grace, and filled them with ugliness and frustration - and I certainly wasn’t pointing them to the grace of Jesus in any of those moments. I most definitely wasn’t “super-mom” and if I’m being real, I was just barely making it to “sort-of-ok-mom” status.

I’m so proud to be my kid’s mom. It’s the best job I’ve ever had and I love it SO very much. Being their mom has grown me and challenged me and blessed me beyond belief. And I SO don’t deserve it. And I’m SO not equipped for it. I have none of the ability, intelligence, or knowledge necessary to do this job successfully. Growing up, I always thought I would be so awesome at being a mom, but I’m 6 1/2 years in and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing…

All I know is - I’m completely lost on this journey… and to be honest - that’s kinda scary to me.

So last Saturday I was wearing that name tag and feeling those feelings… and then I read Exodus 28-36…

God is telling Moses how the tabernacle should be constructed and it is VERY DETAILED and intricate. And these people have been wondering in the wilderness, so...

I’m just thinking they must feel 20,000x what I feel - totally unequipped for the job ahead of them.

Ok, but then comes chapter 31 verse 3. After God names the guy He chose to head up the construction, He says: “...and I have filled him with the spirit of God, with ability, and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship.”

!!!!!!!!!! And this is repeated over and over in these few chapters of Exodus!

Then skip ahead to 36:5&7…

“The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do.” and “for the material they had was sufficient to do all the work, and more.”

That’s. Everything.

That’s everything they needed to do every intricate detail of the enormous work God gave them to do.

Everything. Not one single need wasn’t thought of and met of by the creator of the world. He covered it all.

And if God can supply the Israelites in the wilderness with more than enough to build His house - don’t you think He can supply you and me with all that we need for the jobs He has set before us?

And to be clear, the jobs he gives us are always jobs that bring Him glory and reveal His grace to those around us.

For me, right now, it’s being “mom” to these three kiddos and pointing them to the grace of Jesus in the things I say and the way that I parent them… The job He’s given me in raising these kids is not to raise well-behaved, respectful, children who never disobey… but to raise kids who know and love Jesus with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, who desire to honor Him because of His grace, and who have seen that modeled and lived out by their mama… and the truth is, y’all, I have no skills - none - outside of the spirit of God filling me… so in those moments of total failure, I must return to the Israelites in the wilderness and to Jesus on the cross, who supplied forgiveness in abundance for all of this brokenness and failure. I need to remember to trust the Supplier of all my needs - ability, intelligence, knowledge, and the means to succeed at this enormous job He has entrusted to this scared and unequipped mama.

And, friend, if you’re like me, you’re scared, too - you’re feeling like you’re failing, you’re intimidated, anxious, and unequipped for whatever task God has laid before you. I hope you will come back to Exodus when those feelings seek to overwhelm you. I hope you will rest in His provision and abundance. And I hope you will fall before the Supplier of your needs, giving Him your trust as you recognize His sovereignty over your life and your loved ones.

He is good, friends. He is sufficient. He is holy, sovereign. There is not one single need that hasn’t been thought of and met of by the creator of the world. He covered it all. And He chose YOU. And He LOVES you.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.” Philippians 4:19-20

Rocks

My six year old walked out of her room today in a dress that belonged to someone very special to me many years ago. It fit her perfectly and it brought a smile to my face as I remembered the sweet one who once wore it.

I wrote this blog several years ago for A Musing Maralee, and she gave me permission to repost it today as I remember our girl - Arissa.

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She walked into my life when I was 21 years old. I was fresh out of college and I thought I knew it all.

I was wrong. I didn’t know very much at all, actually. She was quick to teach me that and multitudes more over the course of the three months I worked with her.

That was fifteen years ago. She was ten.

I’d like to know who she would have become, how she would have loved the world the way she loved me in those three brief months. I believe I will know one day, when I meet her again in eternity.

Until then, I like to remember who she was and who I became because of her.

She loved. She loved so hard. And it puzzled me because she had been so hurt by so many of those she loved. But that didn’t stop her from loving anyone or anything.

She used to have these rocks. She kept them by a post outside of the school because I wouldn’t let her bring them inside. Oh, why didn’t I let her bring those rocks inside?? That question plagues me to this day.

She loved them. They weren’t smooth, there was nothing fancy or colorful about them. They were rocks. They had been walked on and run over for years. But to her they were perfect. She checked on them every time we walked past the school.

It occurred to me one day… maybe she loved them so much because they were so much like her. Maybe she knew they needed to be loved because she knew how very much she needed to be loved.

This little one… she was rough around the edges, she had truly been walked on and run over for years. She was a ten year old in a six year old’s body due to years of neglect. Anger and fear ate at her soul every moment of every day.

…until one day it didn’t anymore.

God did a mighty act in this child. He turned her life around. By the time she left this world to go to His, she slept with the light off, she ran her own bath water, she ran and played with dogs. Those may seem like small victories, but those are things that caused her to shake, cry, fight and scream in fear when we first met. She no longer lashed out in anger, but her words were filled with praise for her Father, her words were filled with love for each of us who worked and lived with her.

She was ready.

..and God did a mighty act in me.

I always knew adoption would be in my future. When I was a child, it looked like a baby boy from Ethiopia and when I was in college it looked like a second baby boy from Rwanda.

When I met her, everything changed. I recognized this calling on my life to love an older, deeply traumatized child as if she were my own.

…and when I lost her, I did what I never let her do. I brought a rock inside. It’s one of her rocks. One of the ones I should have let her keep on her windowsill.

It sits on a shelf in our home, and it reminds me of her. It reminds me of how she loved what to anyone else seemed unloveable. It reminds me of my ignorance in those days when she checked on them. I didn’t get it.

I get it now. I have recognized a strong calling on my life and heart to love those the world sees as unloveable. The gravel in my own backyard, in group homes, institutions, juvenile detention. Not special in any way to anybody they’ve ever know, but special to their Maker. And if they are special to Him, they MUST be special to us. Our lives are not our own (1 Corinthians 6:19) and we are called to use them to love. Period. This has become more and more real to me over the last six years.

My husband and I moved to Louisiana eleven years ago and I began working at a state funded group home. The call God had placed on my heart four years earlier became reality when I was face to face with children who had nobody. NOBODY. We became foster certified one year later and began bringing these teenagers into our hearts and home. We believe that one day we will be called to do this again, and our hope is that one day this will lead to permanency and family for a child like her, who longs for love, who has so much love to share.

I attribute this change in the dynamics of my calling toward adoption to God. And I believe it is why He brought us both to the same place at the same time fifteen years ago.

How He has used the experience of knowing her, the blessing of loving her and the tragedy of losing her to mold me into the woman and mother I am today. Do not let a sadness go by in your life without recognizing it’s worth. Loving her for three quick months was worth every tear that has fallen over the last fifteen years since losing her. I am not the same and I never will be. Children have had family dinners for the first time in their lives, been hugged tightly, loved even when they messed up, celebrated Christmases outside the walls of an institution, enjoyed turkey and all the ‘fixins’ from our kitchen instead of the group home cafeteria, held hands and been prayed with, heard about Jesus, grace, forgiveness, love. . . because of the role she played in my life fifteen years ago. Her little footprints are hidden on the hearts of each one of those children, and each of their footprints have made a permanent mark on mine.

Friends, again, do not let a sadness go by in your life without recognizing its worth. Do not let a tear fall that doesn’t change who you are and how you love. Do not miss out on the opportunity to grow through your pain, to cling to your Savior, to become who He created you to be.

I love that the anniversary of her arrival into her Father’s house falls in November. Every year, toward the end of National Adoption Month, I’m deeply reminded of the role she played in my calling to adopt. I would urge you each day to consider what your role may be in the lives of orphans and foster children in your community and around the world.

“He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.'”

Matthew 18:2-5