When you’re failing at this mom thing

Mercy made my name tag at a church event last week. I wore it proudly, but to be honest, my heart was a little heavy beneath where that tag sat on my chest. It hadn’t been my best day... or week. I lost my patience and my temper a lot. I missed opportunities to show kindness and grace, and filled them with ugliness and frustration - and I certainly wasn’t pointing them to the grace of Jesus in any of those moments. I most definitely wasn’t “super-mom” and if I’m being real, I was just barely making it to “sort-of-ok-mom” status.

I’m so proud to be my kid’s mom. It’s the best job I’ve ever had and I love it SO very much. Being their mom has grown me and challenged me and blessed me beyond belief. And I SO don’t deserve it. And I’m SO not equipped for it. I have none of the ability, intelligence, or knowledge necessary to do this job successfully. Growing up, I always thought I would be so awesome at being a mom, but I’m 6 1/2 years in and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing…

All I know is - I’m completely lost on this journey… and to be honest - that’s kinda scary to me.

So last Saturday I was wearing that name tag and feeling those feelings… and then I read Exodus 28-36…

God is telling Moses how the tabernacle should be constructed and it is VERY DETAILED and intricate. And these people have been wondering in the wilderness, so...

I’m just thinking they must feel 20,000x what I feel - totally unequipped for the job ahead of them.

Ok, but then comes chapter 31 verse 3. After God names the guy He chose to head up the construction, He says: “...and I have filled him with the spirit of God, with ability, and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship.”

!!!!!!!!!! And this is repeated over and over in these few chapters of Exodus!

Then skip ahead to 36:5&7…

“The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do.” and “for the material they had was sufficient to do all the work, and more.”

That’s. Everything.

That’s everything they needed to do every intricate detail of the enormous work God gave them to do.

Everything. Not one single need wasn’t thought of and met of by the creator of the world. He covered it all.

And if God can supply the Israelites in the wilderness with more than enough to build His house - don’t you think He can supply you and me with all that we need for the jobs He has set before us?

And to be clear, the jobs he gives us are always jobs that bring Him glory and reveal His grace to those around us.

For me, right now, it’s being “mom” to these three kiddos and pointing them to the grace of Jesus in the things I say and the way that I parent them… The job He’s given me in raising these kids is not to raise well-behaved, respectful, children who never disobey… but to raise kids who know and love Jesus with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength, who desire to honor Him because of His grace, and who have seen that modeled and lived out by their mama… and the truth is, y’all, I have no skills - none - outside of the spirit of God filling me… so in those moments of total failure, I must return to the Israelites in the wilderness and to Jesus on the cross, who supplied forgiveness in abundance for all of this brokenness and failure. I need to remember to trust the Supplier of all my needs - ability, intelligence, knowledge, and the means to succeed at this enormous job He has entrusted to this scared and unequipped mama.

And, friend, if you’re like me, you’re scared, too - you’re feeling like you’re failing, you’re intimidated, anxious, and unequipped for whatever task God has laid before you. I hope you will come back to Exodus when those feelings seek to overwhelm you. I hope you will rest in His provision and abundance. And I hope you will fall before the Supplier of your needs, giving Him your trust as you recognize His sovereignty over your life and your loved ones.

He is good, friends. He is sufficient. He is holy, sovereign. There is not one single need that hasn’t been thought of and met of by the creator of the world. He covered it all. And He chose YOU. And He LOVES you.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.” Philippians 4:19-20