...she really is in my heart

/

"...and God, thank you for Miss Anna Kathryn,
because she really is in my heart...
and so are You!"
-Arissa

I don't have a lot to say in this e-mail but to just ask for your prayers.... for me, for my ranch family, and for Arissa's family. Arissa, our ten year old, got in a car with her grandfather Sunday to come back to the ranch, but didn't end up here, instead they drove all the way to heaven to be with their Father... How wonderful for both of them! PRAISE GOD that child will never have to suffer another day on this earth the way she did for 10 years! "God will wipe every tear from her eyes!" (Rev. 7:17) I couldn't be happier for her!

But I don't think I could be any sadder either..... The house is quiet... The whole ranch seems empty without her. She was, without a doubt, the joy of everyday for me, and for so many others here... I went into her room earlier and closed the door... I sat where I used to sit everynight when I tucked her in and prayed with her... and I cried...... I cried to God and asked Him to give me strength to live and work here without her..... strength to be able to encourage and comfort the other kids through this, even while I'm struggling so much.... I haven't found that strength yet, but please pray for me, with me, as I try to make it through this.....

The ranch is not empty, and I know that, because the Holy Spirit fills every inch and every crevace here! and PRAISE GOD that He gave us three months to spend with Arissa, and for her to grow to know Him and to love Him more! There's a void in my heart right now, but the void would be greater had I never known her, and I'm so blessed to have had that opportunity! It's amazing the impact that tiny, hyperactive 10 year old had on my life after only 3 months, but I loved her so much! And she is in my heart too, even though it's broken and hurting right now... But I'm certain that she's walking with the Lord right now.... giving Him high grabs, saying "blu blu"** and singing 'down at the beach' to Him, and that brings me so much joy!

Many of us at the ranch are leaving Wednesday morning at 6 to make the 9 hour bus drive to Indiana to see Arissa one last time on this earth. Please keep us in your prayers as we make this trip, and as we mourn the loss of our angel. This is Camile's second funeral in 9 days... She got home last week to the news that a friend of hers died at 14 years old, and when she got back here, she found out about this.

Y'all, I know you do, but especially now, please just pray for us without ceasing... I don't know how to be here without her... She was my everyday, she was what I did, my constant happiness, and she's gone..... As great as I know this is for her, the HUGE selfish part of me misses her so much and wants to shut down... but I've GOT TO FIND THE STRENGTH to keep going, if not for me, for these amazing kids! And they've got to find it too, and see it in the people surrounding them...

All I planned to do in this e-mail was ask for your prayers, but I ended up pouring my heart out.... Once I get goin.......... I love you guys so much! Thank you for praying for me and my girls, and all of these great kids! It's gonna be a hard few weeks before Christmas break, but I know that God can get us through it.....

His,
Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."
-Philippians 1:3-4

Arissa: "Do you think God cares if we repeat things sometimes when we pray?"
Me: "Not at all..."
Arissa: "Good... Because everytime we pray together I'm always gonna start like 'Dear God, thank you that we get to spend this time together.'"

Thank you, God, that we got to spend so much time together!

** our secret language for "I love you!"

change is a positive thing...

/


"I pray that out of His glorious riches, He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:16-19

wow! it's been a while! i'll be sure to make this a long one to make up for lost time....

i knew that things were gonna change when I got here, but, WOW! i didn't realize the extent to which they would! this is crazy! no, i'm still not using correct punctuation, but here's a list of some major changes God has made in my life in the past 10 weeks:

i cook!!!! but i can clearly see why i shouldn't...... but i do, at least once a week! so that is a step forward!

i'm considering botany as a career option... (JK!)

my room has been clean (by my standards) for 10 consecutive weeks!

as opposed to sleeping or something else that requires no movement, in my spare time (which is RARE) i crochet and memorize scripture (current project: scarf for a secret person and sermon on the mount)... and let me tell you, that requires ALOT of attention span! BIG change!

my 1:00 hour no longer revolves around Days of Our Lives! It revolves around REST TIME! that one hour of rest that we have every day... wow! definitely still the best 60 minutes of the day!

i no longer get an average of 3-4 hours of sleep every night and 3-4 hours of sleep every day.... i get a solid 8-9 hours every night! i'm in bed between 10:30 and 11:30 and up between 7 and 8! wow! who knew that such a drastic change was even possible!

movement is great! i do it ALL DAY LONG!

and more than anything else, God has made me realize how intricate and presice His plan is, and i have grown to trust Him and His every move so much more, and continue to every day.... i was sitting in this Bible study all of the interns are doing and we were going around talking about why we decided to come here.... and i sat there listening and just totally taking in how each of us were brought here, all from different circumstances and parts of the country, all at the very same moment, and for different reasons, and some of the same reasons.... it amazes me how God worked differently in each of our lives to gather us all here at the same time, with each of the particular kids in the houses that they were placed in with the house parents they were given... He is doing amazing things here.... i constantly thank Him for blessing me by putting these kids in my life, for whatever reason... one of my girls led devotions tonight, and it's just so awesome to see the change in her from when she got here about 7 weeks ago, and was crying every night and didn't understand why she had to be here away from her mom, to where she is now, totally leaning on God and trusting Him! wow! You are so amazing, God! So... while i don't know, or always understand what's going on and why, i've learned to just close my eyes and remember, God has a plan, trust Him and wait.........

and in the midst of all of these good changes, there is but one sad change: the time has come to say goodbye to an old anna kathrynism... the goal is to completely delete "I know right" from my vocabulary by..... tomorrow.... SAD, i know..... but it's all i hear anymore.... the mockery is too much to handle, and really, i'm just sorta tired of hearing it... it doesn't really make sense anyways.... i know, right.... what does that mean? if vu were here i'd ask him, since he started it all those years ago in mr. emery's classroom... probably in the midst of making that terrifying 2 foot tall vase thing, or that nice jewelry set..... wow... those were the days.... "i know right"... you'll be missed...

anyways...... i love you guys! i really have some amazing people in my life! i cannot believe how truly blessed i am! thank you for your prayers, and as always, if you need anything, i'm happy to pray for you, with you, or talk to you anytime on the weekends or between 1 and 2 on weekdays... your support and prayers mean so much to me! thank you!!! i love y'all!!

here are some prayers requests..... just 2: next tuesday my house is driving to florida for 4 days..... safety! and when i return, i'll have a new roommate.... goodbye emily #4... she'll be at the ranch, just not at laurel ridge (my house) so pray that i'll be accepting and excited about this change of roommates, and not sad about the loss of one..... the good news is that i'll no longer be the only intern at laurel ridge, which will be extremely helpful! thank you, God!

is this email shorter? wow! (probably not... you know they just keep going....) keep sendin me letters, y'all! 3601 lyon springs rd. sevierville, tn 37862 (hint hint) i know i'm not too quick to respond, but give it time....

God bless you all!
--anna kathryn

"I thank my God every time I remember you.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."
Philippians 1:3-4

ps- thank you, rachel doss, for extending the life of my earring changing to 6 more days instead of 3! excluding saturdays and sundays, i still have not yet worn the same pair of earrings twice since i've been here!! i love you, b, you rock my face off! (in the ghetto...... in the ghetto!!)

2 pictures this time!:
my beautiful back yard....

on a hike...... first row to last row, left to right: 1- zachary(7), peter(9), arissa(10), laura(18) -2- shakia(11), quavi(9), cory(9) -3- shabre(10), me(21), zach(12), tara(13) -4- emily (intern), lensa(19) -5- ben (intern), camile(13), ashley(13) -6- elizabeth(13)

and speaking of pictures, the intern picture is definitely on the webpage now!! how exciting!!

and you guys should also click here
and look at the newsletter for october/november!! so great!

this email is never ending.... here are some more great quotes......:
*"Do you do any jazz or interpretive dancing?" -elizabeth... HA!
*"So... i'm on the internet the other day, checkin up on what webpages the girls are lookin at... and i run across this 'marlena.com'....." -james (my house dad)
*tucking arissa in one night after we prayed: arissa: "do you think God is amazing?" me: "yeah, i do..." arissa: "i do too.... and miss anna kathryn?" me: "yeah?" arissa: "i think you're amazing too..." aaawwwwwww!! i think i'm gonna cry!!
*"I almost bought you a birthday card the other day that had an hourglass on the inside that had actual sand in it! i could just see you opening it and saying 'like sands through the hourglass!!'" -marilee (house mom at oak rise)
*"Today's church! I have to study E-fusions!" -arissa
*in an email i got from camile tonight: "YOU SO TOTALLY ROCK MY FACE OFF!!!"
*"You are not allowed to eat your Bible!" -me... in complete seriousness...
*"I havent been watching long enough to know if i should want belle and philip together or belle and shawn, so you just tell me...." -marliee... hahaha!!! emily b., i know you're upset....

a four pack of double a's...

/

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18


what a crazy roller coaster ride! for real b! i'm glad i wrote the last email before the next week started!! hahaha anyways, get ready... when i said be expecting another novel in your inbox, i wasn't lying.....

i've learned another three important lessons since my last email:

#1 - some people (coach moore, mr. emery, dr. sheehy, ms. barret, the fischs, mrs. johnson, dr. flaming, ms. bradford and miss miller [brooke]) are blessed with the gift of teaching, and y'all do an AMAZING job! but, unfortunately, some people just.... aren't.... i think i'm probably one of those people.... i'm trying to teach arissa language arts and a class on botany... it's pretty hard to teach something you don't know... haha so we're learning together... i guess it's going alright, but i definitely wouldn't place myself in the same category as the above mentioned!! she's so smart though, and what better place than this to teach a child botany! we have a lesson everyday walking to devotions, the school and lunch.... how fun!

#2 - everyday will not continue to be progressively better than the last... it truly is a rollercoaster ride! i asked my houseparents for feedback a couple weeks ago, and after being told i can't be friends with the girls, i sorta lost touch with the Lord and was a little over focused on how difficult that concept was for me to grasp..... however, i've come to learn that that doesnt mean i have to be mean, or that the girls won't like me, or that God won't use me in their lives... it just means that i'm their authority.... not their best friend... and i think i'm ok with that.... but it definitely had a rough impact on the week before last! and, man! those days of our lives withdrawals are gettin worse everyday! hahaha just kidding..... (not really)

#3 - God can use something as small as a 4 pack of double a's to remind us of how amazing and powerful He is, and to keep the faith! crazy how i'm standing on the top of a mountain in the midst of this amazing sunset, and i see the greatest display of God's power that i've clearly recognized and acknowledged in awhile in a small gift to one of my girls from a stranger who said "what is it the good Lord said? we might be entertaining angels......" sometimes we lose sight of how powerful our Lord really is! my problem week before last was a lack of faith... faith that God would give me the ability to be a "strict" authority... faith that God would help me deal with a hyperactive 10 year old... faith that God would give me the skills necessary to teach botany! faith that i can live without 'days'..... hahaha the list goes on....... i was praying for patience, but what i should have been praying for was a renewed faith that God will "never leave me nor forsake me..." He reminded me through that stranger and his four pack of double a's.... God has put me in this position for a reason, and i know that He has the power to get me through each moment...

and when i'm forgetting that... each of my girls is quick to remind me!! they are so amazing and i love them all soooo much! God has really given me 5 very different, but equally wonderful girls to work and live with here!!
* arissa is continually the greatest and the most difficult part of each of my days here... but she makes it all worth it for me when, even in a fit of rage, she'll grab my hand and look up at me and say "i love you."
* camile and i.... we're on the same wave length... which is great, i'm constantly laughing!! she is always having new revelations about the Lord... it's truly inspiring, i can see God working so hard in her life everyday!
* lensa is a breath of fresh air! after a loong day, her calmness and sweet heart are the greatest wind down i could ask for...
* elizabeth is brand new to us! she's been here for 9 months, but just moved over here from the other girls house last tuesday.... she is always ready to give me a big hug, which is such a blessing everyday!
* laura keeps me entertained with her training the cats to sit, and all of her crazy animal stories! she's a great kid and so full of encouragement and energy..... which are both things you need a lot of here!!

I love these kids, and i am so thankful that they are in my life.... I never cease to be amazed by my awesome God! thanks again, y'all, for your prayers! they are greatly appreciated! Please continue to pray for me on this journey, in my personal growth and in my time with these kids...

so... this is pretty long too... it's pretty much useless..... i give up........
but i love all of you and hope to hear from each of you at some point! thanks, everyone, for your emails and letters and calls! they all mean so much to me! i miss y'all soooo much!

--anna kathyrn

ps - my picture is on the webpage!! or, maybe it's not right now, but it will be in the next couple days!!! click here to see it -->> http://www.wvr.org/pages/interns.html
and speaking of pictures, i attached one of camile, lensa and laura... it's pretty much my favorite picture of all time....

pss - congrats, corrie, on your engagement! i love you!!!

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."
Philippians 1:3-4

...................and there's more

here are some short stories and things that have been said by me, to me, or in my presence that some of you might find humorous:

*"that's inappropriate!" -me
*i bungee jumped!!!
*"let's go girls! we've only gone half a mile!" -me
*one of our cows gave birth last week... wow! the miracle of life!
*my girls are trying to play matchmaker with me... hahaha the other day camile said "y'all would be so cute at your next prom!!"
*"who wants to go to the rec center with me every morning at 6?" -michelle
*we've got a black bear and a peacock roaming the grounds! how crazy! i wonder if they're friends....
*scene: camile totally runs into the wall... laura: "there's a wall there!" WOW! all of the suddenly, i'm back in middle school again hangin out at gainesville video with my wonderful cousin... i almost said "what's your number?" member? what? oops...
*i opened the door to my room yesterday and was greeted with a booming "Like sands through the hourglass......." wow! that was a great moment!
*scene: the funeral for the caterpillar...
"she was a great pet...." -arissa
"why don't we go around and each say what we loved most about fuzzy wuzzy..." -emily
"fuzzy wuzzy was a great caterpillar.... i'll miss her.... the strength of a mountain lion! that journey from indiana to east tennesse.... wow.....etc............" -me
WOW!! all of the suddenly, i'm back in middle school (and high school.... oh, and college... ummm... and this past summer......) at the many funerals for my pets and road kill...... (and my home) too bad i didn't have any coke on hand...
*ps - i love you emily buffington! (and i love you too emily conner and emily mantooth!!)

week 2!!

/

"The Lord is near...
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 4:5b-7

week 3 starts in 1 hour and 5 minutes!!

i just had one of the most amazing weeks of my life... i wasnt going to write this for another week or so, but i'm so excited that i couldn't put it off any longer!!

here are the 3 most important lessons i've learned since i've been here:

physical activity is not always scary..... the most fun time i had this week was definitely the 1 1/2 hours that i spent playing tennis with 2 of my girls... we had so much fun!! i played tennis twice last week, and i played volleyball with the interns friday night!! and let me tell you, when i woke up saturday morning, my forearms were bruised and swollen and every muscle in my body ached!! hahaha i was like "is this normal?" they were like "no...." hahaha, but it was totally worth it.... i'm still a little bit scared... but not terrified like i was before!!! God answers even silly prayers!!

almost anybody you every meet named emily is gonna be great..... emily b., emily c., and emily m., y'all are three of the greatest people i know, and i truly thank my God everytime i remember each of you! the new addition is great! emily averitt, my new roomie, is definitely my best friend at the ranch! she totally fits right in with all of my emilys! in this world of change, God really has answered my prayers for a little bit of consistency, even if it is just in a name.... i can handle all the other changes.... my amazing kids, my beautiful home in the smokie mountains, my adventures in physical activity..... my God is so amazing!!

a broken car is NOTHING compared to a broken heart, a broken body, a broken spirit, or a broken family... but none of these is too small or too big for God's healing hand... thursday night, camile (13), one of the new girls in our house, knocked on my door crying at 11:30ish... i sat in the hall and talked to her for a little while until she was ready to try to go to sleep again.... she's so homesick, and she was certain that she couldn't stay here any longer... it broke my heart to see her that upset, so when she went to sleep, i wrote her a note w/ a few memories from the past couple days, and told her i thought the list needed to grow... i assured her that there are a lot of people praying for her, that God doesn't put us in situations that we can't handle, and that we all love her... friday night when i got home at 12ish, there was a note under my door.... it totally made my week, and probably every week from here on out.... so.... i wanted to share it with you....:

"Dear Mrs. Anna Kathryn,
I am sooo glad I have had the pleasure of getting to know you, it has been a fun roller coaster ride, but don't worry, we have a couple more months to go! Thank you for being there for me last night, I was having a very rough night. Thank you for giving me your shoulder to cry on, just like a 2nd mom, or a 5th older sister! I know staying at the ranch is going to be difficult for me since I'm away from my mom, but I know God has a purpose for me, and I gotta stick with it, cause if I don't I will miss out on a great blessing! I luv ya lots! Please keep me in your prayers!
Love, Camile"

wow! God is a miracle worker! i have seen his healing hand at work in my other girls too, whether in the 30 minutes i spent with Arissa (10) making fish faces at mikey (my fish), or seeing Lensa's excitement over her door decorations on her 19th birthday yesterday (which she was dreading!) He is surrounding this place, and hears all of your prayers... please keep my girls in your prayers: lensa, laura (18), camile, and arissa... they're all so amazing and i have a great new friend in each of them!

i have been blessed beyond all comprehension this past week... i am so excited to see what God has in store for us in the coming weeks and months! thank you so much for your continued prayers! i can feel them throughout the day! i love y'all so much, and can't wait to see you soon!!!

week 3 started about 50 minutes ago, so i better run... this email is once again, much longer than planned.... haha, i hope that's ok!! i really will try next time! :)

--anna kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you.
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy."
-Philippians 1:3-4

ps.... sorry about the puctuation.... hahaha i was feeling rushed!!
pss.... i attached a picture from our trip to the aquarium saturday... it's just arissa and camille, but i'll have some pictures of laura and lensa soon!!

here are some things that i have said since i've been here that some of you might find humorous:
"we had so much fun at tennis today!!!"
"I think i'm gonna clean the bathroom and vacuum tomorrow..."
"wow! that was so fun! we should play that again!" (cranium!!)
"patience is a virtue..." (hahaha as opposed to "patience is a quality that few possess...")
me: "i know right!"
camile: "ok... you said that 4 times in that conversation.... 34 times today so far..."
me: "you're keeping a count? haha... maybe i should work on that...."

hi!

/
I have an address!!!

I am very excited because I got mail today!!!
So... if you, too, want to be a source of happiness in my life, you can send me something to this address:

Anna Kathryn Buffington
Wears Valley Ranch
3601 Lyon Springs Road
Sevierville, TN 37862

Or.... you can call me during the day, so I'll have voice messages to listen to at night time!! I definitely won't answer and I may not call back for a day or two, and definitely not before 10:00ish at night, but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you've made my day that much better!!

My cell is: 678-617-3929

Don't feel pressured!! hahaha... I know everybody is crazy busy with school or work or whatever else, but I've had several requests for this information, so there it is....

Thanks, y'all, again for your prayers and support!! I don't have time to go into a looong update right now, but you'll be sure to get one from me sometime soon! I have 3 brand new girls moving into the house tomorrow!! I am very excited!

I love you all, and hope to hear from you soon!!

--Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God everytime I remember you."
-Phil. 1:3

PS - Did I use mostly correct punctuation? hahaha