I love how in my last email, I mentioned 2011 already looking incredibly blessed... And I love how I mentioned the 'fear of man' being a whole different email... I should have known it wouldn't be long before BOTH of those things would need to be addressed!
So... here goes!!!
About a week after I sent that email about embracing stagefright, I got a call from a friend at church. She wanted me to apply for a job at the Samaritan Center (www.samcen.org.) So I applied.... no expectations.... and I got an interview! So I interviewed.... and they offered me the job the next day! So I turned in my notice at Honda, and two weeks later started my new job. I hate leaving jobs, even when I'm not happy there, but I felt so very much peace about this that I wasn't even a bit emotional!
HOWEVER, I was scared out of my mind and VERY emotional over the fear that I wouldn't be equipped for my new position... Program Coordinator of an incredible ministry! And after three days of training, I'm not gonna lie, I was sooo more scared than I was before any training!
It was actually a really great time of experiencing God for me, because when the enemy continually tempted me and said, "You can't do it..." in one ear, I continually heard God in the other ear whispering, "He's right, you can't! BUT I CAN! And I will. And I'll use YOU!"
So in the middle of all of this inner turmoil, Chris and I were reading through Exodus. I don't believe in coincidences, and I certainly don't believe that we just so happened to be reading about Moses during all of this. The night after my third day of training, we opened the Bible, and read the passage this e-mail began with. It was like this massively huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I read the words, "I will be with you." And those words have continued to stick with me over the last two months. I know I'm not equipped. Who am I to do this job and serve these people? I'm NOBODY! And God softly whispers, "I will be with you." And He has been!!! And He continues to be!