As of last night, baby girl has GRADUATED from sleeping swaddled!
It was her decision... Chris and I watched her fight sleep from our little video monitor and saw her do something she's never done before. She flipped from her BACK to her BELLY! Swaddled! With no use of her arms at all!!!
So we looked at each other and both knew... It was time. We can't have our child rolling onto her face with no way of rolling back!
So we went in there for the "ceremonial final unswaddling." (Fancy, right?) We looked down at her laying there and she had this big grin on her face. She knew...
...and it seemed like an appropriate time, on the eve of her six month birthday! That's right, today was Mercy's SIX MONTH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! What??? How did that happen so fast, seriously?? I honestly can't even comprehend that.
And as of TONIGHT, she is sleeping in her crib in her nursery like a big girl!!! I wasn't sure if was ready, I cried a little when I laid her down and walked out... I'm still not sure if I'm ready! But she's in there, and she's HALF. A. YEAR. old and I know she's ready.
Look at this face...
The face of my six month old sweet Mercy girl waking up on her half birthday!!
It is so incredibly hard to remember her being a teensy little bitty thing with tubes and wires, flailing around in an incubator...
But at the very same time, I can still hear so vividly the first sound I ever heard her make. I can see my husband's sweet eyes confidently looking into mine full of love and joy, not a trace of fear. I can feel the pressure on my rib cage, and then I can hear it, the sweetest little peep. We smiled in awe and amazement at each other and he looked over the curtain at her. They cleaned her up and brought her to me for just a quick few seconds, and I was enamored. She was tiny and perfect.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday.
Six months ago...
I had this post going a completely different direction, and then I watched this:
That was January 19, the first moments that I spent with her. The nurse wanted to surprise me by having her off the ventilator the first time I would get to be with her. That was the most special moment ever, ever. She would be back on the ventilator after just a few hours, they thought she could do it but she wasn't quite ready. But... spending time with her like this was... amazing. I remember these moments like they were yesterday as well....
But when Chris and I watched that video tonight... we were both brought to tears. I remember the moments so well, I remember believing she would be ok, and not fearing for her life. I remember holding her little hand, telling her I loved her and not worrying one bit that I may not have tomorrow with her.
And when I see her in that video, my mind races to all the feelings I feel like I should have felt, and to the One and Only reason I didn't.
As Chris and I were reading through Mark a couple of weeks ago, this passage stuck out to me in a big way:
Right now, I am overwhelmed with what He has done in the last six months.
Overwhelmed with amazement that He gave us peace when all I see is reason for fear in that video. I can't comprehend how I felt such peace. He equipped me with it.
Overwhelmed with amazement that that baby girl is the same chunky monkey with rolls on her forearms sleeping in the room down the hall. He grew her and healed her.
Overwhelmed with amazement that that sweet little peep is now the sweetest screeching giggle you've ever heard. He strengthened her lungs and voice.
Overwhelmed with amazement that six months ago I had a baby that may not have lived and that today she celebrated her half birthday. He gave her life!
Yes! He has done everything well!
And He has proven Himself faithful to His promise:
"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10b)
He has given all three of us such abundance of life. The last six months have awakened us to the fullness of life He offers us and we are so deeply in love with the Creator of the universe who loves sinners like us, even laid His life down so that we might experience this abundant life.
How can we not love to express how much we love Him? ...how much gratitude we have for the life He's given Mercy? ...for the mercy He's given us?
How blessed we've been. May we live the rest of our lives in gratitude to our Savior, praising His holy Name, sharing the love He has lavished upon us.
Thank you for being part of this journey. We sincerely love each of you who has prayed for and supported us in the hard times and in the fun times!