Big Girl Bathtime

Look how she's sitting up and looking right at the camera! My five pound baby girl is GROWING. UP.

Life without CaringBridge was different yesterday, it felt funny not sitting down at midnight to write something... Glad I have this outlet and get to continue to share Mercy's and my growth! Tomorrow, however, I'm declaring a computer fast... it's Good Friday, I'm going spend the day thinking about that, making a couple pillows for the nursery, vacuuming and doing laundry... and of course, snuggling with my little one as much as possible!

Today was a big day, actually... Chris and I had decided that when Mercy hit five pounds, we would take the sling out of her little bath tub and give her a big girl bath! We could have been doing that all along, her umbilical cord fell off long ago in the NICU (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mercyellzey/journal/19 ...see 'Poopy Diapers and Bellybuttons' toward the bottom), but she's so tiny, we've just been a little scared and nervous about trying.

So bathtime is hard for Mercy, we believe that being clean is very traumatic for her. She's a serious screamer during diaper changes and baths... so I was a little nervous and interested to see how she would handle her big girl bath.

Well... She handled it like a champ! I was so proud of her, I cried a little! She let out just a few quick screams, but for the most part, she just looked around wide eyed and let me bathe her... then she screamed when I pulled her out like she wanted to stay in! So funny...

Got me thinking... about the things I whine and scream about (maybe one day I'll write about my pumping trials!) Really, what in the world do I have to whine about in my life right now? How blessed we have been over the last 2 1/2 months! God has been so good to us, and what would be fitting is for me to live each day of my life in solid gratitude to Him. And that's all.

But is that the case? Of course not. I'm just not quite there yet, and if you're honest, you probably aren't either. Hmm... maybe we need big girl baths ourselves!

Sometimes when I ask God to change my heart about whatever I'm whining about that particular moment, what I'm asking for is somewhat of a sponge bath... just a little dab here and there, while I'm not actually changing my actions at all, still griping along the way... when what my heart actually needs is FULL submersion, clean this girl up, cleanse my thoughts, purge them of negativity and sinfulness. God is GREAT, and faithful to do that. Maybe that's how to turn my whining and moaning into singing and dancing to His glory!

I think it's time for a big girl bath! What about you?


"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.
By his wounds you have been healed."
1 Peter 2:24
Yes, thinking about that tomorrow... awesome! Enjoy salvation, my friends, let's live our live in gratitude for it!

Everyday Mercies

I've tried blogging before.
                        ...and I've failed.

I feel like it's different this time... I feel like I have more to write about and I'm excited about that! For those of you who linked here from CaringBridge or Facebook, you know the journey we've been on. For everyone else, we delivered our daughter 10 weeks early on January 18, spent 7 weeks in the NICU, and today is our due date. Our baby girl Mercy is such a blessing to us. Maybe one day I'll upload our CaringBridge posts to this blog, for now if you want to catch up on our incredible journey, you can read about it here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mercyellzey

Throughout our journey, I have become amazingly aware of the mercies God showers on us everyday through everyday occurrences. How, if we pay attention, each little piece of our day reveals truths about our Creator and how He is visible in EVERYTHING. 

That's what this blog is about... His everyday mercies! It is certainly a work in progress, and I won't write everyday, but I hope you'll join me as I seek to learn more of Him and His incredible works!

You'll notice this clearly isn't my first post. Awhile back when this was a different blog, I uploaded a multitude of emails I've been sending to friends and family for years. They are a journey through the last 9 years of my life... They see me finish college, move to Tennessee, experience great loss and awesome healing, move back to Georgia, get married, move to Louisiana and finally our emergency c-section that brought little Mercy into the world. Feel free to explore... A lot of growth has happened over the last 9 years!

Our Sweet Mercy

You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

Somebody I love very much shared this verse with me last week and it hasn't left my head or my heart. 

Trusting God is something I'm finding to be much easier said than done. Of course, this is silly... Hasn't he provided for me, protected me, given me life abundantly... for 29 years? Even when things have been HARD He's been present in my life, given me perfect peace and worked each little detail out for my good. Craziness that I should have any doubt that He would do this same thing at this time in our lives, as we're nearing the birth of our daughter.

Two weeks ago, Chris and I found out that I have developed a liver disease called Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cholestasis-of-pregnancy/DS01033). A few days before Christmas, my feet and hands woke me up in the middle of the night itching... BAD itching. This persisted and spread over the course of the next three weeks while we waited for my blood test results to come back. The results came back positive and thus began our new journey to parenthood. The only noticeable side effect this condition will have on me is the itching, which has for the most part subsided since I began taking the prescription. This has been an incredible blessing, I'm sleeping again and able to focus on life outside of scratching!

However, the condition poses a much higher risk for our baby girl, Mercy. I'm three days shy of 30 weeks now and the further along we get, the higher the possibility of complications and unpredictable fatality of our daughter. This has been incredibly emotional, and I've struggled greatly over the last couple of weeks since the diagnosis. Trusting God has NOT been easy. The good news is, the chances of stillbirth increases drastically after 36 weeks, and even then is fairly rare.

So this is what the next 6 weeks looks like for the three of us:
Every week Chris and I are going to the hospital for what's called a biophysical profile, or a BPP, which is a 30 minute ultrasound and a non-stress test to monitor her movement, heart rate, breathing, etc. Every other week we'll be seeing our OB, and every other week we'll be seeing a specialist who will help determine the best time to deliver our sweet girl. We will not be waiting past 36 weeks to deliver, and depending on how she's doing on all of her tests, we may decide to deliver earlier.

Something that has been a gift from God and a huge blessing is getting to see her every week. We went yesterday for our second BPP and got to see her yawning and practicing sucking. She even stuck her little tongue out for the camera! The ultrasound tech talked about how awesome it is that even in the womb, God is preparing her for the outside world as she practices skills she'll need when she's here! 

Another blessing is each little kick or movement. That is my favorite feeling of all and we have a little celebration every time!

Even as I have struggled to trust Him, He has been so faithful to give me reassurance through her movements, through my husband's unwavering faith and trust and through the many prayers that we feel throughout each day. Each of you is playing a huge part in God's promise to give His children peace. While my daily struggle with trust continues, it is beginning to be replaced by awesome feelings of peace beyond understanding. 

And being the impatient types, we're very excited to meet our sweet Mercy sooner than expected!

I want to thank you for your prayers before they've even begun. You've all prayed so faithfully through the various stages of my life, and I'm asking you to continue that now as we've begun this journey of trusting God with the child He has granted us, His gift of mercy in our lives and our family.

I love you all so very much!

His,
  Anna Kathryn

"I thank my God every time I remember you!
In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy!"
-Philippians 1:3-4